Welcome back to The Club List, a newsletter about making a business out of what you love.

This issue is a non-Thursday edition, out of respect for my fellow Americans who have had significant grilling and chilling to do on the 4th. You shouldn’t spend too much time looking at your inbox on a long weekend like this, if you can help it. So, let’s get after it.

As a quick reminder: musicians, please send me your answers to this survey I’m conducting about takedowns from Spotify! This takes 5-10 minutes and will be incredibly helpful to reporting I’m doing on the topic, to be shared in this newsletter soon. The survey has been extended and now closes at the end of Friday, July 12. Tell a friend.

The Club List is powered by beehiiv, the best newsletter platform I’ve ever used. Want to try it out? This link will give you a 30-day trial and discounts past that. I may make a small commission from this.

For those conflict-avoidant sorts out there, as well as the people who protect themselves a little too carefully in their work, you’ll want to read this one closely.

The False Danger and True Risk

How many times have you heard advice that sounded kind of like…this?

“You work with this person. They’re not your friend. Don’t be friends.”

This is the kind of advice you might get if you’re colleagues with someone. Sometimes, you’ll hear it said about a boss. If you’re a boss, you might hear it from someone on your executive team about an employee.

If you freelance or do agency work, you can hear it said about clients.

And - most awkwardly - if you make art and have a following, you may hear it said about your fans.

There are very real concerns you should always have in these situations, many of them revolving around power dynamics. For example, if you’re an employer and directly responsible for someone’s paycheck, don’t date them. That’s a level of power over a person that impacts their ability to consent. Come on. Leave that noise in the 1960s where it belongs. And don’t let that example be where you leave exploring power dynamics, and where they affect your life.

But as long as you’re being responsible and treating people as equally as you can, I have a long-running beef with the idea that you shouldn’t ever get to know the people you work with. Maintaining some level of mindful separation, sure! But don’t scoop out sincere interaction in the process.

The false danger is connecting with your customers, or your staff, or your community, and getting hurt because you somehow shared too much of yourself. The true risk is being at the top, isolated, and thinking you’re free.

That isn’t freedom. That’s lacking the people you need, because you didn’t have strong enough boundaries to safely pull them closer.

Many of the musicians I work with are very comfortable posting photos of themselves, linking to new releases they made, and asking people to buy merch. Some of them worry that letting fans too far in can lead to them dictating their next steps, or monopolizing their time. That’s fair, if you don’t maintain any boundaries and build a close friend group out of the people who come to every single show or comment on every post. Remember that as an artist, you may be communicating something deeply personal, but it’s just one part of who you are, and it’s a part regularly left open to interpretation.

But there is an important balance to strike between that extreme level of openness - unrealistic for the vast majority of artists in the first place - and being unknowable to the people who really need to feel like they know you. That’s where the true risk comes in.

Many artists communicate as if they’re looking through a one way mirror. They know someone is on the other side, but they either can’t see them, or aren’t trying to.

This is an era where sustainable marketing comes from getting as close to direct-to-fan as possible, especially in music. But I would argue this applies to a TON of businesses, and always has. It applies to B2B work, it applies to illustration and design, it applies to sales across industries. You have to be willing to approach decision-makers as a human being, acknowledge them, and be real. You don’t have to invite all of them to your kitchen table, but you may need to invite them to a business dinner.

And here’s something mildly controversial. If you’re an artist and don’t want to communicate like that with your fans, then, well…don’t! Have parked social pages, put up tour dates, keep a mailing list that sometimes tells people what you’re doing in as few words as possible, and be minimalist - but be clear, and purposeful. The issue comes where you lose sight of why you’re communicating how you’re communicating. This also happens if you run a company and have meetings for the sake of meetings. Lose the plot, and you lose direction.

Intention is everything. There is a difference between being “best friends with everyone” and “hard to know.” Less drastically, there is a difference between “empathetic to others’ needs” and “out of touch.” You don’t have to send holiday cards to everyone (unless you want to), but you should be mindful of what affects the lives of your fans, or your employees, or your clients.

They get to perceive what you make, and they will form opinions about it, many of which you will never hear. It’s important to stand in front of them and show them what you made, sure. But it’s also important to stand next to them, show them what you’re looking at, and remember what got you here in the first place.

Connection is not weakness. Connection is strength.

One of the greatest pieces of advice I’ve ever heard about relationships applies to how you connect with everyone in your life. It’s simple: State your needs, and when there is a bid for connection, turn towards, not away. Show people you see them. This sets any conflicts you have up to be positive opportunities for growth. You can do this, and you don’t have to forego your principles. You’re not going to be for everyone, and that’s okay.

And the same applies to how you connect with others in every aspect of your work. The false danger is in turning towards. The true risk is in turning away.

One Thing You Can Use Today

We’re at the halfway point in the year. You don’t have to have your entire life 100% organized, but you can probably do more right now. This is a call to go one step farther than whatever you currently do:

• If you don’t use a digital calendar to keep your life straight, you should start. Google Calendar is pretty universal at this point. Put it on your phone, it’s incredibly easy to use. If you use Apple’s calendar app, I’m almost surprised, but you do you. And if you use something else but really enjoy it, tell me, because I’m curious.

• If you use a digital calendar, you should also pick up a small notebook and start every week by writing out what you want to do in advance. I like doing this on Sundays, marking big goals for Monday, and then anything I don’t get done moves to Tuesday and gets other goals added for that as the week goes on. Any notebook is great. The more portable, the better.

• None of this is a substitute for larger goal-planning. Take a moment to note what your goals are for the next year, or just the rest of this one.

• If you have done all of this stuff, try taking a little time to organize your contacts. They’re the lifeblood of everything in your work.

• If you have also done that and you’re a small business owner or freelancer, consider getting a CRM. Start with something lightweight, just to organize your contacts and how your project work overlaps with them. I recommend Bigin or Capsule for this, as they balance simplicity with function very well and scale up from their free plans. Hubspot gets too expensive over time for my blood, but it also has a free plan. Every CRM has a learning curve, and you should watch the demo video for anything you try out before getting started.

• And if you’re a DIY musician reading the above and wondering what use a CRM could have for you, I have two words: show bookings. So much better for that than Excel. You’ll be amazed.

List of Clubs

These are the kinds of clubs I’d like to be in around NYC! Wherever you might find music, art, or a compelling experience under one roof, that’s a club to me. I only list clubs I’d enjoy going to. If I list a client, you’ll know.

Friday, July 5 - Augustus Muller + more @ Paragon
Boy Harsher isn’t exactly music I associate with the heat of a 4th of July weekend, but I’d still see them if they were touring right now. That goes for Augustus Muller too, the Gus half of Boy Harsher and quietly one of the most talented musicians in electronic anything.

Saturday, July 6 - FOURTH WORLD YEAR 10
This one’s more expensive than electronic stuff I usually post, but it’s reasonable for what it is - a 16-hr party with re-entry allowed! - and the quality level of the lineup can’t be overstated. Literally dozens of the absolute best DJs in New York across three vaguely Morgan L-adjacent venues, with visuals and a hands-on synthesizer pop-up. If you’re even kind of interested in dance music, go to this. I’ll be there when doors open at 3pm.

Sunday, July 7 - Whatever is playing @ Syndicated
I’ll have just been at a 16-hr dance party for, well, likely at least half of those hours. I’m going to go watch a film at a theater that also serves food, and you can come with me, or not.

Thanks for reading! And now, an image of me in the club…

The Club List is a newsletter from MeInTheClub.com. All issues are available at TheClubList.net. To inquire about marketing services for your work, contact [email protected] and include "Services” in the subject line.